Such Small Things
by Dark Seraphim
Summary: A prequel of sorts to "The Sheer Force of Him". Rastaban's POV and a semi-stream of consciousness. He is preparing to challenge Ildon and he wonders what he is going to wear, and he thinks of his reasons and his intentions for Ildon and for the Region of his birth.


Notes: For fandomtrumpshate

After this, I will not be participating in fandom anything anymore. I'm just not able to anymore. "Took long enough" doesn't even begin to describe this. Anyway, I ADORE Rastaban. He's a delightful POV when he is cooperative. In this case, I ended up going into a stream of consciousness of some sort because I think he would have remained a bit "taciturn" otherwise.

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Now is the time for me to challenge Ildon and to take him for myself, but the first thing I wonder is what am I going to wear? I chuckle at this question. So shallow. Such a very small thing, but to me, it's important. Do everything in style has become my motto and why shouldn't it be? I have closets full of so many clothes, I've lost count. Ever since I was a child, I have always had plenty of clothes, accessories, perfumes, whatever I want, really.

My rooms are huge, the largest in the Chateau, save for my father's. I am right below him. Fitting for a trueborn Prince, sometimes very annoying and unfortunately, I cannot always hide such feelings. Not from him, the Charm Lord Orlouge. Maybe I just feel things too strongly, a weakness to many Mystics, but not to me. I think such a thing can be a gift, even though I know that it can be exploited.

He knew immediately how I felt about Ildon. I remember what he told me when he summoned me.

"Good luck with that."

He said it with a smirk. Ciato was with him and also smirked. I clench my teeth just thinking about it, but I understand why he said it.

Ildon will not be easy to acquire. He trained me to fight, but even if he didn't, I know his skill, his speed, his abilities. I know his behavior. I know what he has done to his enemies; what he is capable of. Fear is his greatest Mystic virtue, but I do not fear him. I never have and I will not start now. I am in love and I know I can take him.

I think my father only allows it because he can use it against me later or maybe he is bored. Both? I don't know what to think, but I am happy that he doesn't forbid it. All I can read from him is death. I read it from the other mystics. I've noticed it ever since I was small. Everything is dark in the Chateau Aiguille. Facinaturu is nothing but darkness. My father's power is Darkness. Death lingers everywhere, even in the flowers, the lavish parties, any and all fights. It clings to everyone here and I cannot stand it.

Frozen. I see Facinaturu as frozen as it is dark. Even with the flames of Kurenai nearby, I still see this entire Region as frozen. Like a stopped clock. I am the only one who notices. This is my home, the place of my birth and yet for so many, it is their death. A lingering death they don't notice.

Ildon is not much different from myself. He too is a born Mystic. A chosen Prince, but still a Prince. Older, but still like myself. He does not think the way I do; I learned that early on. He is fine with the status quo and I honestly don't understand why. How can someone want to freeze? I will not freeze. I won't allow him to stay frozen.

I walk around my room, past my bed, my piano, my collections of books, jewelry, clothing. Yes, clothing. I am still wondering what I should wear. I think of red. I have all sorts of red. Jackets, shirts, lace, cravats. I look upon one outfit in particular. A black coat with red rose brocade. I wore it when I killed someone of higher rank. I smile at the memory. No one, not even my father, saw it coming. I know HE didn't. He being "Black Knight" Wezen. Former leader Wezen. Vanished old Mystic who hated my mother and wanted her dead, so I made him dead instead. I remember Ildon, the look he gave. Such shock, but thankfully no fear. I don't want his fear.

I choose not to wear red. I think of orange. I frequently enjoy looking like the sun. I enjoy seeing it shine so rarely in Facinaturu. I am reminded of how darkness rules here. I am reminded that my father is the shade that blots out sunlight. One day he will learn that the greater the darkness, the greater the light it will attract. I think of Ildon and how he is called the "Black Wing, Prince of Darkness". I sigh and choose not to wear orange, or white or pink or any bright color. Black would be more appropriate. Black and gold. I never wear a single color.

My weapon of choice is much easier. Naginata. Nearly every Mystic in Facinaturu thinks it's strange that I would favor such a weapon. I can use a long sword, but I choose not to. There's something special about a weapon that requires two hands. Poor Ildon. I remember him trying to train me when I used my Naginata. He required help from those more familiar, but in the end, he held his own. I smile when I think of his skill, so beautifully agile, so beautiful period. He is especially beautiful when he is angry.

I was four years old when I saw him return from a mission. He had a bag of this colorful, billowy cotton. I thought it was fabric, but when I saw him eat some, I decided that I wanted some for myself. I remember running up and simply taking the bag from him. I laugh as I think of it. I knew even then that it was dangerous to anger him, but I knew he wouldn't hurt me. He wouldn't dare. Even my father was amused and he even looked proud.

"Put that thing back where you found it or so help me!" Ildon tried to shout, but fell silent as soon as all eyes were on him. I ate that odd fabric, but I learned later that it was called "cotton candy". I can't wait until I am sent on a mission. I will have more of that sweet candy and so much more. I will see the world beyond Facinaturu. I will see it with Ildon, but first, I must take him.

I know it sounds dreadful, but I must be honest, Ildon is dreadful. What might work on others will not work on him. He has spurned many people, killed others, and is feared for a reason. I must have his respect by dealing with him in the only language he understands.

I wish I did not have to, but I know that I must! We are warriors, he and I. My dear Ildon, if only I can tell you how in love I am! Every time I see you fight, I fall in love! When I hear your voice, I fall in love! When we spar, I fall in love! With every sound, with every movement, with every look you give, I fall in love! I smile when I think of you! You have no idea how often I dream of you, how I think of you when I have those feelings course through my body. You have no idea how I feel on the inside, when I touch myself, when I silently cry out before I fall asleep.

I have such plans for us, my love. I would like to see the other regions for myself! I want to learn how to drive! I've read so much about so many vehicles that I want one! I want to do what humans do! I don't CARE if others Mystics disdain such things! They're too old to understand, but you're not! You're not much older than I am and I am certain that you have used machines of all kinds! I refuse to believe otherwise! I want to eat at all the places I am only able to read about! I listened when you gave your reports and told other Black Knights about the places you have been to! I want to go on missions too! Surely, I am old enough! We can go together! We'll have such fun, you and I! We will buy things! We will listen to music! We will go to those clubs I know you have been to! We will sing together! We will do so many things.

But, first, I must have you. My robe is velvet with golden rose brocade. It swirls over my black trousers as I walk. My gloves are a soft leather that feel warm against my skin. They are draped with gold chains. I will wear these gloves when I touch you. I will wear them when I fight you. I listen to my boots echo against the marble floor. You will hear me. No doubt you will wonder why I pursue you so and I will tell you what I really know about you.

You have a heart. I know you do. You will deny that. I know you will, but I remember you holding me when I was a child, comforting me whenever I cried. I remember your smile every time you gave me a gift. You tried to hide it, but I noticed. I always noticed. Under your ice, your darkness, I can see the shimmering light.

I smile now. The gold silk shirt feels wonderful on me. I smell of lilacs. Some say I bathe in cologne. Perhaps I do. Such small things, but they matter to me. I see the look on Ildon's lovely face as I approach what would be our arena. He is looking down, his green hair draping one of his eyes. He is wearing black and green. Always dark colors. Always beautiful. His sword is in his hand and he will not look at me. Not yet. He knew I would challenge him, but he does not yet understand why. We are surrounded by flowers of all sorts. In Facinaturu, every space has flowers of some sort. That is the one good thing about the region my father rules with darkness. I am the tempest who will move the flowers.

Other mystics are watching us. Ciato, my father, a few of his mistresses, the knights, and whoever else is able to view this. All of them are waiting for this drama, the event that breaks the monotony of the Chateau. A fight between two born mystics, two princes, and two of the youngest in Facinaturu. Teacher and student. A chosen prince and the one true born. This will be a lesson for Ildon, a lesson I taught ancient Wezen and one that I will no doubt teach others: there is always someone younger and hungrier lurking behind you.

But, unlike Wezen, Ildon has little to worry about. I won't kill him. The threat will be there because I know it has to be, but I won't kill him. I am in love. I remove my robe and let it slide down my body. I am still smiling. Now, Ildon watches and I never look away no matter how irritated he clearly is. I hold my naginata in my gloved hands. I am ready. I define certainty. He shows no fear, but I know he worries. My poor Ildon, I can only hope you understand that I am doing what must be done. It's not only your love that I seek, but respect.

I will no tolerate no less.


End file.
